The Count's World, Episode 6 Peach's Tea Party
by The Great Allie
Summary: A routine mission suddenly changes gears when the gang is invited to a tea party hosted by none other than Princess Peach.
1. 6 dash 1

_I would like to issue a formal apology for the last installment of 'The Count's World.' I would also like to urge anyone who experienced dizziness, nausia, and/or vomiting after reading it to contact their local poison control center. I've also gotten a formal request to never watch the Care Bears while brainstorming for the next set of episodes ever again._

_This has been a Public Service Announcement paid for by the Association of People With Way Too Much Time On Their Hands. Remember- winners don't do drugs!_

* * *

EPISODE 6-1

A few hours ago, Count Bleck had called his minions into the Meeting Room to give them their next assignment.

"It's been quite a while since our last mission," said Count Bleck. "I believe you've done wonderfully in your basic training. Count Bleck is pleased."

Mimi giggled and blushed. "Aww, thanks, Count! Tee hee hee!"

"I believe that this next mission will be a nice exercise for you all to work together as a team to solve problems and face a challenging task- all with nothing too severe riding on the line."

"It can't be any tougher'n Nastasia pushin' us all like me old gym instructor," said O'Chunks. "I haven't worked so hard since me old army days."

"I've never heard you talk about your old army days," said Dimentio.

"Ah... I don't like to talk about it," O'Chunks said offhandedly. "It doesn't harbor some of me best memories."

"I see," said Dimentio.

"Now," said Count Bleck. "I will be accompanying you one last time, as long as you do it properly. I will not interfere, and if I feel you are performing up to your old standards, I will go back to sending you on your own missions, as it was before." _Back in the days of the Chaos Heart_, he added silently.

"Super!" Mimi said happily.

"I want you all to work together on this one," said Count Bleck. "We're all going out. You don't get out of the castle enough, anyway."

And that's how, presently, Mimi, O'Chunks, Dimentio, Mr. L, Count Bleck, Tippi, Nastasia, and Félicie all found themselves warped to a snow-capped mountain. It was a clear day outside, and the snow on the ground was packed and soft. There were trees all up and down the cliff, with plenty of walkways for going up and down, and even some slides on the mountainside. It was the kind of place you would go to cut loose and have some real outdoor winter fun- build some snowmen, chuck snowballs at each other, slide on your tummy down an icy hill, and everything else you did on a day when school was cancelled. However, the Count's mission _wasn't_ cancelled, and the minions had to get to work.

"So, Count," said O'Chunks. "What's this big mission yeh needed us all here to tackle?"

"There's a lost penguin child somewhere on this mountain," said Count Bleck. "I would like you to find him and bring him home to his mother, who lives somewhere down the slope."

"What?" O'Chunks was aghast. "Don't tell me yeh needed all four o' us for another one o' these sugar-sweet happy pants missions!"

"No," said Count Bleck. "I just _wanted _all of you. The means are different. The end is the same."

"Okay," said Mimi. "So there's a cute li'l penguin lost somewhere here and we have to get him back?"

"This sounds really familiar," said Mr. L, mostly to himself. "Like one of my bro's stories about his adventures..."

"All right, then," said Dimentio. "Shall we get started? I believe I can hear the desolate calls of a tristful child, echoing through the mountain side like a lederhosen-clad yodeler of the Swiss Alps."

"If you say so," said Count Bleck. "Now, go find him."

"Very well," said Dimentio. "I shall look down the slope." With that, he disappeared.

"I'm going to look around that area over there," said Mimi, pointing in one direction. "Here, Félicie! Come on, girl!"

Félicie bounded up to Mimi and jumped up and down excitedly. Mimi scratched her on the head, and Félicie took her place following her master.

Mimi looked up at Mr. L and asked, "Wanna come with me, Mr. L?"

"Eh, sure," said Mr. L. "Where are you looking, O'Chunks?"

O'Chunks crossed his arms. "I'm stayin' right here," he said gruffly. "I think this whole mission's a Count cop-out just to keep us busy."

"Be that as it may," said Count Bleck, tapping O'Chunks with his staff. "It is what Count Bleck requests. Is that not enough of a reason to do it?"

"Ehhh..." O'Chunks was caught off-guard. "Count, yeh know I'd do anythin' fer you. I'm in yer service."

Count Bleck pointed up the mountain. "Then go find that penguin child and bring him to his mother."

"Yeh aren't gonna make this easy fer me, are yeh, Count?" O'Chunks heaved a sigh, threw up his arms, and said, "All right. You win." Then he used his fartrocket to lift himself up the mountain, out of the picture. Now Count Bleck, Tippi, and Nastasia were by themselves.

"Yeah, so," said Nastasia, speaking up at last. "Do you really think this challenge is a good use of their time? I mean, there are bigger problems in the world, and this is kind of different from what you've been having them do."

"I know," said Count Bleck. "But Timpani heard of this most dreadful situation, and it distressed her so, and I thought, why not make an outing of it? Get out of the castle, have a change of scenery? What with the stress of re-training the past few weeks, I thought it would do them well to tackle an easy task, and then spend some time in a nice recreational environment."

"Okay," said Nastasia. "I'm on board with what you're saying. So, uh, what were you planning on doing while they're taking care of business?"

"I thought we could make a snowman."

* * *

Mimi spotted the little penguin first, waddling back and forth in a small patch of the mountain, crying out for his mother. She and Mr. L watched him from a distance, not wanting to startle the poor little dear.

"Aww, poor li'l guy," she cooed. "Come on, let's take him home."

"To _his _home?"

"Yeah," said Mimi. "That's what I meant."

Mr. L shrugged. "Just checking."

Mimi slowly approached the penguin. "Come here, little guy, it's okay," she said in a soothing voice. "We're here to take you home."

Suddenly, Félicie got excited, started yipping and bounded over to the penguin. Mimi reacted too late- the penguin screamed and started waddling away at top speed.

"No, Félicie!" she cried. "Bad girl! Bad Beanlet!"

Mimi grabbed Félicie and held her down, while Mr. L took off running after the penguin.

"Oh, dear," said Dimentio's voice. "It seems that we've already made a mess of this one."

Mimi looked up and saw Dimentio hanging in the air above her.

"Dimentio! I shoulda known you'd mess this up for me!" she snarled.

Dimentio landed and put his hands up. "Oh, no, no," he said quickly. "I want this to be done as soon as possible myself. I had nothing to do with your Beanlet's little outburst. She is, after all, merely a puppy. The sight of a foreign animal must have excited her."

"I guess," Mimi grumbled. "I suppose I shouldn't have brought her. She's just too cute to leave by herself."

"It's a good deal better than what would have happened if you tried to bring Charlotte," Dimentio said lightly.

Mr. L came back, soaked from his neck to his feet. "I fell in the snow," he explained. "The little penguin is just down the way. He stopped running. Mimi, why don't you hold onto Felicie and I'll... um... hi, Dimentio."

Mr. L had just noticed that Dimentio had been staring at him this entire time.

"What is it? Do I have something on my face?" Mr. L chuckled nervously.

"Yes," said Dimentio. "A desultory string of shaggy hair, black as the ash and charcoal of a barbeque pit."

"Um... okay..." Mr. L took a step backwards. "Do you... uh... want to... help get the... the... uh... would you stop staring at me like that?"

Dimentio snapped his fingers and disappeared.

"I swear, he just does those things to creep me out," muttered Mr. L. "That's just not right. Anyway, you hang on to Félicie and I'll go down the mountain and catch the penguin. And, um, if you see O'Chunks, tell him we found the penguin. Got it?"

"Yeah!"

* * *

The little penguin was waddling back and forth, thinking his little penguin thoughts, happy as he could be considering he was separated from his mother and lost. Mr. L watched him carefully. He was making a plan in his mind, exactly how he could walk up to the penguin and grab it, but also handling it gently and speaking in soothing tones so as not to frighten it too terribly.

He carefully made his way over to the penguin and knelt down in the snow so he was at eye level. "Hey, little guy," said Mr. L. "I'm here to take you back home, okay? Can you come with me?"

The Penguin flapped his wings and began to waddle away.

"Hey, no, don't do that," Mr. L said. "Come on, it's okay. Here, I got—" and he grabbed the Penguin around the middle and picked him up. Right away the penguin started to cry, a horrible sound from any creature, and worse when you knew you were causing it.

Just then, O'Chunks landed on the ground in front of Mr. L, having suddenly returned from searching the top of the mountain.

"Hey, Green Thunder!" he greeted. "Looks like yeh found the scamp, didja?"

"Yes," Mr. L said over the crying. "And you've gone and scared him."

"Oh, did I? 'Ere, lemme calm 'im down fer yeh."

Mr. L looked at the penguin, and then up at O'Chunks hesitantly. "Um… no, I don't think so…"

"Ah, yeh'r probably right," said O'Chunks. "Well, then, let's go tell the Count we found 'im."

* * *

_This story is asking you to remember that, in Episode 3, when asked to give up her pet Chain Chomp, Mimi was presented with a substitute pet, a Beanlet named Félicie. I think I liked Charlotte better, though..._


	2. 6 dash 2

_I need you guys to keep me on my toes. Yes, it was a purposefully lame mission, no, I had no idea who was making the horrible noise in that level, and never, NEVER take any advice I give._

* * *

EPISODE 6-2

"THIS IS THE LAMEST MISSION I HAVE EVER BEEN ON, COUNT!" Mimi screeched as the wind rushed past her head. She was in free-fall right next to the Count, with the rest of the gang right behind them. "I'M QUITTING AND GOING BACK TO MERLEE'S MANSION! I TOTALLY MEAN IT, COUNT!"

"BE MY GUEST!" The Count replied, loud enough to be heard, but not shouting in comparison to the background noise he was fighting. "IF WE SURVIVE THIS, YOU'D HAVE MY BLESSING!"

But I'm getting a little ahead of myself. Kept you interested, though, didn't it? Thought I was loosing it?

Anyway, where did we leave off? Mr. L had just captured the penguin and was bringing it back to Count Bleck. But he wasn't there yet, and Count Bleck was doing some other things. Right now, he was using his staff to draw a diagram in the snow. Nastasia was watching him with interest, although she didn't quite understand what he was doing. Tippi was fluttering nearby, chattering happily.

"I'm so glad you did this for me, Blumiere," she said. "I really appreciate it. I was just so sad, you know?"

"I'd do anything for you," said Count Bleck, although it was more a reflex than anything- he was deeply involved in what he was doing.

"It's so lovely here," continued Tippi. "Maybe we can think up some more missions that will keep us in nice, peaceful places like this. But if they're already peaceful, then I guess they wouldn't actually need us, would they? Oh, but maybe after we make them peaceful, we can stick around for a while. Say, what are you doing there, anyway?"

"Drawing a diagram," said Count Bleck. "Nastasia, what's north of Toad Town?"

Nastasia looked down at his diagram. "Um, is that Toad Town?" she asked.

"It's a rough sketch," said Count Bleck curtly.

"Shooting Star Summet," said Nastasia "The Shiver Region. Uh, Shiver City. Starboarn Valley. The Crystal Palace. That whole area."

"All right," said Count Bleck.

"So, what are you drawing there?" asked Nastasia.

"I'm planning our next move," said Count Bleck. "I'm finished with this simple stuff. I want to tackle a big project again, like we did in the beginning. I'm certain my minions are ready now… I'm just thinking of where to send them. There's so much evil in the world, it saddens Count Bleck… but it does give him lots of options," he added with a grin.

He pointed to areas on the map with his staff as he spoke, and Nastasia and Tippi leaned over and looked. "Look at this," said Count Bleck. "This is Forever Forest, home of the Boos. They've been causing trouble for as long as I've known them. Ghastly creatures, the Boos, that need to be brought into line. And over here… Vanilla Dome, which used to be where Toads would mine for vanilla, until it was overrun with monsters. And over here… I could go on, but I won't."

"You've been thinking a lot about this, haven't you?" Timpani fluttered close to her love.

Count Bleck covered a yawn, and began to erase part of his diagram with the crystal end of his staff. "I'm not used to this," he said. "Doing good. What if I do wrong?"

"You won't," said Tippi. "You won't because you're my Blumiere, and I know you're good."

Nastasia took the opportunity to excuse herself from the moment. She wasn't spending her days pining over the Count, but she still didn't like to hang around when Count Bleck and Tippi got all lovey-dovey. She went over to the far end of the plateau and leaned against a pine tree. When the Count noticed she was missing, she'd go back.

Just then, Mr. L, Mimi, O'Chunks, and Dimentio rounded the corner, all of them holding onto the baby penguin together. Félicie was hot on their heels, yapping up a storm.

"Yeah, uh, we found it," said Mr. L.

"I can see that," said Nastasia, looking them up and down. "What are you going to do with it?"

Tippi saw them round the corner right away and fluttered up to them. "Oh, you found him! Wonderful! The mother is right down at the base of the cliff in a pool of ice-cold water. Let's all go down together."

Dimentio gritted his teeth. "Lovely," he said in a strained voice. "This penguin's almost impossible to hold onto and navigate with when we've all got it like this. Would it be at all possible to hurry this along?"

Count Bleck, by this time, had noticed where the girls had gone and joined them. "Wonderful," said Count Bleck. "Now, just head down that pass and you'll be at the bottom in no time. But be careful," he added as they turned to leave. "It's a bit icy."

O'Chunks was the first to slip. He put his foot down on the first bit of ground on the downward slope, and it went out from under him. It was pretty much downhill from there. Since almost everyone was connected to each other by the penguin, that meant they all lost their balance, and with such chaos it was pretty much impossible to _not_ start sliding all the way down the path at top speed.

Nastasia, of course, tried to follow them to help but in her urgency, she forgot to keep her feet planted firmly and she, too, slipped. Count Bleck had to keep his head cool. He sized up the distance of the slide, to the leveled out bottom, and calculated his next move carefully. "Follow me, Timpani," he said. "It would be best not to misjudge the hazards of this mountain."

At the bottom, the sliders slowly lost their momentum. The iced surface gave way to soft snow, and O'Chunks, Mimi, Dimentio, Mr. L, and Nastasia all found themselves flat on the ground, sprawled out and soaked to the skin. The penguin child was more or less unfazed; he got up, shook his feathers off, and continued to waddle around as he had before. Penguins were used to sliding around on the slopes of the mountain, and while this one was wilder than the planned slides, it wasn't a big deal to him.

Count Bleck appeared with Tippi at the base of the mountain, looking over his minions. "Was it fun?" he inquired innocently.

"Yyyyeah," Mimi groaned. "Super duper."

"Well, your goal has been accomplished," said the Count. He gestured in front of himself, and they all looked. The mother penguin was in a pool not far by, and the baby penguin had found it's way home. There was a cheerful reunion.

"Thank you so much!" Tippi gushed to the minions. "I know you don't like this sort of thing but I'm so glad you did it anyway! I'm so happy!"

O'Chunks got up first and brushed the snow off of himself. The others followed suit after.

"Is everybody all right?" asked Count Bleck. "Any blood or broken bones?"

"No," said Nastasia.

"Nope," said Mr. L.

"Nah," said O'Chunks.

"Uh-uh," said Mimi.

"I actually feel better," said Dimentio.

Félicie popped her head out from in the snow and barked.

"Very well," said Count Bleck. "Then let us continue through the snowy mountain."

The group had a tendency to clump together when they walked together. Perhaps you've noticed it too, if you have friends and you've ever walked somewhere together. People tend to clump together when they walk, as a general statement. Because of this, it was able to happen again- that is, someone (it's impossible to say who) lost their footing on a slope almost right away, and because they were all close together they _all_ went sliding down the slope again.

This time, though, there was no leveling out of the ground at the bottom. Instead, the slope ended at the end of the cliff, and below _that_ was nothing but abyss. Screaming into the unforgiving sky, the group went plummeting.

And _that's_ where you came in.

"THIS IS THE LAMEST MISSION I HAVE EVER BEEN ON, COUNT!" Mimi screeched as the wind rushed past her head. She was in free-fall right next to the Count, with the rest of the gang right behind them. "I'M QUITTING AND GOING BACK TO MERLEE'S MANSION! I TOTALLY MEAN IT, COUNT!"

"BE MY GUEST!" The Count replied, loud enough to be heard, but not shouting in comparison to the background noise he was fighting. "IF WE SURVIVE THIS, YOU'D HAVE MY BLESSING! NOW LET ME THINK!"

Count Bleck was smart, and if his life depended on it he probably could think of a plan to save at the very least his own skin, and he wouldn't settle for anything less than the lives of them all. If he'd had a few more seconds, he probably could have managed to teleport them all to safety. As it was, he closed his eyes tight and waited for brilliance to strike him.

Then, all of a sudden, he wasn't falling _down_ anymore. He was being _flung_, sideways, with much less velocity than he'd been falling with. Then he hit the ground facedown, hard enough to knock the wind out of him but not hard enough to really do anything.

He stayed on his stomach for a moment, waiting for his mind to catch up with his body- he was certain that right about now his mind was still in free-fall outside the mountain. Quick survey. Tile floor. Smells like lemon. Stuffy air, light circulation. Warm, not hot. Sound of footsteps, nearby, through a wall or maybe a door. Quick check of self. Hat, check. Staff, check. Monocle, check. No blood, no broken bones.

He got up. He was inside, in what appeared to be a beautiful palace. The floor was white and blue tiled. The walls were white bricked. There was pink trim everywhere. Very familiar- he had been here maybe once before. On the wall, from the direction he'd first felt himself flung from, were three paintings of a snowy scene. Count Bleck recognized the mountain they'd just been on, in the painting.

One by one, the other minions rose, gathered themselves, and looked around. Each of them seemed as baffled as he was. The Count reminded himself that, as their leader he had to look infallible. Even though he didn't have the faintest clue what was going on, he had to appear in charge.

Tippi came out of the painting quickly.

"I saw it all!" she squealed. "You fell, and then disappeared! That's it!"

"I figured as much," said Count Bleck. "Again, I ask, is everyone all right?"

"So," said Mimi. "What do you think happened?"

"Something _horrible_," said Dimentio.

The door opened, and two Toad castle guards rushed into the room.

"I told you I heard something," said the first one.

The second one held out his spear. "Who goes there… and how?"

"It is I, Count Bleck," said Count Bleck. "We were simply traveling through dimensions, and there seems to be one in yonder painting. We'll just be on our way—"

"Count _Bleck_? Is that _you?_"

Count Bleck looked up and saw Princess Peach standing in the doorway. Adventurous as she was, she probably didn't want to wait for her Toad guards to tell her what the strange commotion in the painting room was. Peach was the kind of girl who just had to see for herself. She looked surprised, but then she smiled widely.

"I haven't seen you since… um… yeah." She crossed the room and stood face-to-face with him, although still behind her guards. "Tippi! How have you been?"

"Just wonderful," said Tippi. "I want to thank you for everything, Princess."

"So, it's true what I've heard then?" Peach asked. "You're the good guys now?"

"Essentially," said Count Bleck. "We still have a few stragglers."

"I just like usin' me chunks!" O'Chunks barked. "Don't care who, don't care when!"

"I also enjoy stirring up mischief and plotting world domination more than I like helping people," Dimentio added. The others pretended not to hear him.

Count Bleck shook his head.

"You're just in time, then!" Peach clapped her hands. "We're just about to start my tea party, and it would just be lovely if you could come! Just think- former enemies breaking bread as friends… only the bread is tea cookies and scones, and there's also sugar and milk. We got Tayce T. to make the food for us. What do you say?"

"Wai-wai-wai-wai-wait," Mimi waved her hands quickly. "Did you say _tea party?_

"Yes," said Peach.

"Like, with lace and doilies?"

"Yes."

"And elegant pastries with fancy fillings?"

"Yes."

"And a new pink dress with matching shoes, and how-do-you-dos, and frilly frou-frous?"

"Yes."

Mimi looked up at Count Bleck. "Don't make me beg," she said tersely.

"Very well, said Count Bleck. If you would like to go, then we shall go."

"Yeh can count me out," O'Chunks cut in. "I ain't wearin' no frilly pink frou-frous on me warrior's armor. Think o' me reputation! It'd be squashed teh bog mush!"

"I'll have my guards take you on a tour of my castle," said Princess Peach. "I'm sure there's something here to keep you occupied."

"I shall join _him_," said Dimentio, jerking a thumb at O'Chunks. "I have no interest in frivolous sharing of pastries and boiled leaves and acting like a female."

At that, everyone else in the group coughed and quickly turned away.

"The party is just outside in the main hall," said Peach. "We're milling while my servants set the table, and then we'll go into the dining hall."

Mimi gracefully ducked out for a costume change, and Mr. L followed. The Toad guards lead the rest of the party- Count Bleck, Nastasia, Tippi, Dimentio, and O'Chunks for those of you keeping score at home- into the main hall.

"The rest of the guests are already here," said Peach. "Not everybody invited was able to show up… let me introduce you. You know Mario, of course."

Mario, who was deep in conversation with another guest, turned and waved.

"Hi, Mario,' said Tippi, and Count Bleck could swear that if she had cheeks they would be flushed.

"And he's talking with Prince Mallow from Nimbus Land," added Peach. "We went on an adventure together a long time ago. This is the Honorable Star Spirit Misstar, and my personal friend Twink. Over there is, another friend of mine, and Merlee. This is Bub-Ulber, from Flower Fields, and Lady Bow and Bootler."

Peach looked around. "Well, that's everybody. Feel free to enjoy yourselves."

"I certainly will," assured Count Bleck. "Come, Timpani. Let us, as they say, 'work the room.'"

Just then, Mimi and Mr. L (as his alter ego Luigi) appeared behind Count Bleck. Mimi was dressed like a china doll in frills and lace, with a large sun hat and a big bow on it. She was wearing bloomers and carrying a parasol, with black slip-on buckled shoes. She also had a matching handbag that Félicie was currently sitting in.

"What'd we miss?" she asked.

"Introductions," said Count Bleck. "Why don't you go and meet everybody?"

"I believe I shall be staying," said Dimentio, eyeing the crowd. "I feel that this crowd might prove to be most interesting."

"You don't need my permission," said Count Bleck. "I myself have some business to take care of here."

* * *

_I__t's taking me too long to get to the point… I'd better start doing some more serious pre-writing or this story's going to go on forever._

_By the way, the Merlee in this story is the one from Super Paper Mario, which is apparently different from the one is Paper Mario and TTYD. I don't understand it, I just write fanfic about it._


	3. 6 dash 3

_I'd just like to say for the record that I never really had tea parties when I was a little girl. I did have 'chocolate milk parties' with my mom when my grandmother gave me a painted tea set, but that was mostly to spend time with my mom. I imagine that any tea party I had would involve a lot of drama and intrigue between the dolls in attendance, given the other games I remember playing. There were some good'uns, lemme tell ya._

* * *

EPISODE 6-3

Have you ever been to a tea party? More importantly, have you ever been to a Princess's tea party? Or, at the very least, rented the Sing-Along DVD where the Disney Princesses are all coming to a tea party and you're invited? You know the kind I mean?

Yeah. It was a lot like that. It gets really interesting, though. Trust me.

So anyway, they were all in Peach's dining hall, seated around a circular table in this order: Peach, Mario, Luigi, Mallow, Merlee, Dimentio, Bow, Bootler, Bub-Ulber, Mimi, Count Bleck, Tippi, Misstar, Twink, and back to Peach. With so many people sitting around the table, it got a little chaotic. One of Peach's servants was pouring the tea. Other goodies were laid out for taking, on fine china and doilies no less.

"So, tell us," said Peach happily, "What have you been up to most recently, Count Bleck?"

"Reshaping our organization," said Count Bleck. "Re-training and getting back into prime shape for our future missions."

"Oooh, neat," said Peach. "What kind of missions?"

Count Bleck cleared his throat. "I'm not at liberty to discuss that at this time," he said.

"Oh, I see."

Count Bleck turned his teacup upside down on his saucer and placed his spoon across the dish. The servant came next to him with the teapot, and Count Bleck said, "Thank you, I shall take no tea." The servant nodded and moved on.

"So, Bro, what have you been up to?" Luigi asked Mario.

Mario explained to Luigi how he was planning to make a comeback in the Glitz Pit, since nothing urgent was coming up.

"Oh, so you'll be away from home some more?"

Mario nodded.

"Yeah, that's cool. I got a lot of other stuff going on, too."

"It's true, he does," volunteered Dimentio.

"You keep outta this," Luigi snapped.

Dimentio turned to his other side, where Lady Bow was sitting. "And, if I may be so bold as to inquire, where does this lovely lady come from?"

"Buzz off, creep!" Bow snapped.

"Dimentio," said Tippi, trying not to laugh, "are you trying to pick up chicks at a tea party?"

"Dimentio, Charming Magician, does not 'pick up chicks,' as you so crudely put it," retorted Dimentio. "He expresses interest in the fairer sex. So there."

"That is just _so_ wrong." Tippi shuddered.

"It's all right," Count Bleck said. "It doesn't affect you. Just ignore it."

"This is great," said Mallow. "We should do this again sometime in Nimbus Land. If you guys have to travel really far you can stay at the inn. They have these rooms there, _wow_, you feel like you sleep for a hundred years."

"I almost did that once," Peach said with a laugh.

"And your dreams are so _vivid_, too," Mallow continued. "I slept there once and dreamed I was being cooked in a giant stew, and when I woke up I smelled gravy!"

"I once granted a wish to someone who wanted to remember his dreams," said Twink eagerly. "He never remembered them, and he wished he did, and I could do it! I think he's a writer now," he added uncertainly.

"That's right," said Misstar. "He writes about his dreams. He's very good, have you read him?"

"I believe so," said Bootler. "Of course, I mostly know his works from before he became successful… back when he was only a _ghost_ writer."

Ha, ha, ha.

"You wanna know who _I_ like?" said Peach. "I've read some of Herringway's novels. Those are really good. I read one after Mario mentioned him in one of his adventures."

"Really?" Bootler said in surprise. "Under what circumstances did you meet him?"

Mario began to describe an adventure in which he went to Shiver City and was accused of the murder of the mayor. He was forced to prove his innocence, and the only clue he had was a slip of paper with the word "Herringway" written on it.

Luigi groaned and slid down in his seat- he hated listening to these stories over and over again.

"Wow, that's a great story," said Tippi when he was finished. "I wish I could have been on an adventure like _that_. It sounds more fun than getting stuck in Merlee's mansion… no offence, Merlee."

"Yeah, that was totally my bad," said Mimi. "Sorry."

Count Bleck cleared his throat nervously. He sincerely hoped that nobody would bring up the fact that the whole… incident had been his fault in the first place.

"All is forgiven, all is forgot," said Merlee. "Now no talk of sadness, let's eat this whole lot!"

"Cheers!"

The servant put the teapot on the tea table near the door and stepped into the back room of the dining hall until she was needed again.

"So, Mario, what have you been doing for information without me?" asked Tippi.

Mario shrugged and explained that when he needed help, he just asked.

"Oh," said Tippi. "I… well, I was wondering if you had another partner giving you information or something."

"This is some wicked tasty pastry," said Mimi loudly, still chewing on it. "What _is_ it?"

Count Bleck put his hand on Mimi's back. "Mimi, dear, don't talk with your mouth full."

"Oh, sorry, Count."

Peach giggled. "That's all right," she said. "It's one of Tayce T's own special creations. It's really just a cruller with strawberry filling, but it tastes fancier."

"I'll say!"

"I must give my compliments to the preparer of this dish," said Bow with a laugh. "It's simply delicious."

"Can you even eat this?" asked Dimentio. "Seeing as you're a ghost, that is."

"That's none of your business, creep."

"I've never had a better treat! This tasty cooking can't be beat!" Merlee put the last of the snack in her mouth and took a sip of tea. "Yum. Want some?"

She directed the question at Count Bleck, who was only partially paying attention. "Hm? Oh, no thank you. I'm just here to…"

"Really, though," Peach interrupted him before it was clear he didn't intend to finish that sentence. "What have you been up to? We haven't seen you since the whole thing with the Chaos Heart?"

"We've been around," said Count Bleck quickly. "Rogueport… Fahr Outpost… Toad Town…and… the… castle…" he finished lamely.

"We're having a little trouble getting started," explained Tippi. "But when we do, it's gonna be great."

"Yes," said Count Bleck. "Great."

"Well, just so long as your plans don't involve me marrying anybody," Peach joked. "I don't think I want any more surprise weddings."

"I still have nightmares about that void," said Bub-ulber.

"I know, and that world getting sucked up?" Mallow shuddered. "Creepy."

Count Bleck pushed his chair out. "Excuse me," he said. "I have to go." Without waiting for an answer, he got up and quickly hustled out of the room.

The others watched him go, a little surprised at the sudden outburst.

"Did we upset him?" asked Bub-ulber. "I didn't mean to…"

"Oh, boy," said Tippi. "I'd better go after him."

"No, I think I was the one who upset him," said Peach. "I'd better make sure he's all right. Everyone else, keep enjoying yourselves. I'll be right back."

She quickly hustled out of the room, and the quiet lingered a few moments longer.

Mimi finally broke it by cluelessly exclaiming, "Oh my _gosh_, this grape-filled one is to _die_ for!"

The noise broke out again, with them discussing this and that and nothing at all, the way you're supposed to do at a party.

* * *

Peach found Count Bleck outside the dining room, at the top of the stairs leaning over the railing looking down into the foyer. He was hunched over, with his hat pulled down and his shoulders sagging.

"Hey, you," said Peach cheerfully. "Is there a problem?"

"I'm sorry, Princess," said Count Bleck. "I put myself outside my comfort zone and was overwhelmed. I apologize for my behavior."

"You don't like parties?" she asked. Peach leaned on the railing next to him and looked over her shoulder at him. She tried to make eye contact but he was still looking down.

"I don't like…" he paused, trying to find the right words. "I don't like _myself_. Who I was, and what they know me as. I don't like being the man who tried to destroy everything. And I especially don't like being faced with that."

"I'm sorry," Peach said. "I didn't realize we were crossing a line, making jokes about that."

"It's not that," said Count Bleck. "It's not that you said anything, it's that you _could_. I'm sorry, I'm not making any sense."

"I think I follow you."

"My point is, I'm uncomfortable facing my past, and understating the way people feel about me."

"Oh," said Peach. She twirled her hair on her finger and said hopefully, "Well, we all like you just fine."

"I know," said Count Bleck. "But deep down inside, you still look at me and see the main who caused everyone so much pain." He looked her in the eye. "Don't you?"

Peach was all ready to assure him that no, of course not, we look at you and see a charming and dapper gentleman… but when he looked her in the eye, she froze. She couldn't say it.

He looked back down. "It's not your fault," he said. "My problem isn't with you… it's with myself."

He reached behind her and patted her hair. "You're a lovely person, Princess. You are kind to me, and so willing to believe I deserve it. You're a good person." He looked at her again, still patting her hair. "You have a pure heart… not a device of the ancients, but a real and true heart of purity beating within your chest… and so few people have one. My dear Timpani… and _your_ true love… but so few… so very, very few… it's nice to know there are such harts willing to give a chance..."

Peach blinked and was suddenly brought back to reality. She blushed and said quickly, "I'd better get back to the party, if you're all right. Come back when you're ready."

Count Bleck leaned back over the railing and said, "Yes… yes, whatever you think is best. Enjoy yourself, Princess."

She nodded, and quickly dashed off, back to the room.

As soon as she was gone, the Count went limp, leaning with this gut on the rail and his hands dangling freely over. "You're such an _idiot!_" he said harshly. "You can't think about another woman that way! You _have_ a true love! What is _wrong_ with you?"

"Blumiere…"

Count Bleck looked up and saw Tippi hanging in the air above the railing, looking down at him.

"How much did you see?" he asked weakly.

"I passed Peach coming back in," she said. "Blumiere, what _are_ you talking about?"

* * *

_Told ya it'd get interesting. Didn't believe me, didja? That'll learn ya. Stay tuned for the shocking conclusion... 'K?  
_


	4. 6 dash 4

_I'd like to begin this by saying how extremely, extremely sorry I am that it's been so long. I don't have an excuse, but I feel I owe you an explanation. Within the past few weeks, my world has kind of exploded on me, what with the end of the semester portfolios and papers, and the charity dinner I begged to attend, and the everyday demands. I saw it coming and I felt my threshold was being reached, so I said, "Well, I'll just finish this up fast so nobody's left hanging." After twenty years of being autistic, I know my limits. And all was well in Allieland.  
_

_Then, of course, there was a little car accident. Nobody was hurt but since I had no head support in the back seat Mom wanted me to see a doctor. And we spent half a day trying to get someone to take me and the other half having them look at me to be sure this wasn't going to be another drawn-out problem. And after that, I was finished. It took four days of _"Psychonauts" _just to get my creative juices flowing again. And another two to re-focus them on Mario. I have a lot of crappy Psychonauts sketches to prove it._

_So, to reiterate, I'm back, I'm sorry, and here's the finale of Episode six. And Episode Seven will be up very shortly, since I'm back on track._

* * *

EPISODE 6-4

"Blumiere, what were you talking about?" Tippi asked. "What just happened out here?"

Count Bleck cleared his throat. "I have no idea what you're talking about, lied Count Bleck."

Tippi snorted, trying to hold in a laugh. "So… what? You and Peach are… what?"

"Nothing!" he said quickly. "It was just… she was out here and I felt so… so very…" he covered his face. "This is very embarrassing," he said at last.

"You felt attracted to her?"

"Could you _please_ use a less discomforting euphemism?"

Tippi giggled. "Okay. You were, um, intrigued by her… um…" and then she burst out laughing.

"This isn't funny," Count Bleck grumbled. "But I'm glad you're not mad."

"Oh, Blumiere, it's adorable. You have a crush on the Princess."

"What? Spat Count Bleck in utter disbelief! I do not have a crush on the Princess!"

"Uh huh." Tippi said knowingly. "Then why are you blushing?"

His cheeks flew to his face before he realized that he couldn't blush.

"I… you're still my true love," said Count Bleck lamely.

"I know I am. What matters most is that no matter how you feel about anyone else you still choose _me_. Besides, it's normal to feel attracted to other people even when you're in love."

"Like you and Mario."

Now it was Tippi's turn to blush. "I do not!" she said indignantly.

"Uh huh. Then, why haven't you been able to stop staring at him all evening?" He raised his voice in an imitation of Tippi's and said, "Oh, Mario, have you been able to replace me with another partner to dispense important facts to help you on your adventures? You haven't! Oh, my, I would be ever so sad if I heard you had replaced me!"

"That's only _kinda_ what I said!"

But by now they both busted out laughing. It was absurd. They laughed so much, Count Bleck couldn't stand anymore and slowly slid down against the railing until he was sitting. Tippi kept loosing altitude until she was resting on his shoulder. They laughed and laughed until the Count thought his sides were going to split open.

After a while, they calmed down, and let the quiet moment settle over their heads. It was peaceful out in the castle halls, without a lot of people around making noise.

Finally, Tippi said, "Well, Mario saved me. I didn't know anybody could care for someone like me back then… but that was before I remembered who I was and who you were. I needed to know someone cared, and the fact that he did meant more to me than anything else in the world."

"I understand perfectly," said Count Bleck. "I think I needed the same thing- that someone I hurt so much could still care about me… it's a powerful feeling, one I've never had before. But one I hope to have again," he added with a half-smile.

"We're both lost," said Tippi. "I thought getting us back together was the hard part… but it looks like we still have some pretty rough times ahead."

"I don't understand what's wrong." Count Bleck shook his head. "I understand what I feel, but I have no idea why I feel it."

"That's just it, then. You haven't taken the time to figure out what you _need._" Tippi fluttered in front of his face. "I think you're only doing what you think you should. You didn't want to attend the tea party. You didn't want to go to the mountain. You—"

"I did!" protested Count Bleck.

"You wanted to make me happy," said Tippi. "You _didn't_ want to wrangle your minions and make them rescue a penguin."

Count Bleck shrugged.

"So tell me," said Tippi. "What do you, yourself, Count Bleck, want to do most of all? Right now? Think about it."

Count Bleck looked down, blocking out all external sensations. Then he blotted out all internal thoughts and feelings that came from other people. He took a deep breath, shook his head slowly, and looked up.

"Let's go back to the party," he said. "I'm certain that's what I would like."

* * *

Inside, the formal sit-down portion of the tea party had ended, and some general mingling had begun. The guests formed several different groups and talked to people who were not sitting near enough to them during the party. Dimentio had taken up conversation with Bow, who was off to the side with Bootler.

"So, tell me," said Dimentio to Lady Bow, "what do you do as the Lady of the Boos?"

"I don't know why you're still talking to me," said Bow. "I'm pretty sure I made myself clear when I told you I didn't want to talk to you with my giant fan."

"Your fan may say 'Get Lost,' but your eyes sing a different story."

Lady Bow stared at him. "Did you just say 'sing a story'?"

"People sing stories," Dimentio said defensively. "Bards do it all the time."

Bow gave him a hard, nasty glare. "What are they singing now?"

"They're singing… you know what, I had better relocate this conversation closer to another, who will delight my magical presence. Ciao for now, Lady Bow."

He floated across the room to where Luigi was mingling with Mario and Bub-Ulber. They were deep in discussion about the current state of Flower Fields, somewhere Bub-Ulber hadn't been in a while.

"Strike out again, eh, Dimentio?" asked Luigi with a hint of teasing.

"I'm simply toying with her to amuse myself during this otherwise barren social event," Dimentio replied lightly. "Otherwise I feel I would simply die of boredom."

"What, what's wrong with my tea party?" Peach asked, as she was just now passing behind the group.

"I think it's just great, Princess," said Luigi.

Mario agreed.

Dimentio disappeared.

Just then, Count Bleck and Tippi came back into the room. Everybody noticed when they came in, and the conversations stopped as they waited to see what would happen. The Count had become something of a point of interest, especially since his miniature but notable outburst.

Count Bleck pretended not to notice- or maybe he really didn't. He glided across the room. "Timpani, why don't you talk with Mario? I believe you have some catching up to do. I would like to mingle for a bit longer."

"Hi, Count!" Mimi waved frantically. "Isn't this so great? This is like a total dream come true! Seriously!" She tapped Félicie on the head, and the little beanlet yapped happily. "I totally take back all that stuff I said when we were falling."

"Yes, well," said Count Bleck, "I'm glad I could make it up to you."

Mimi giggled. "Did you see that total cutie across the room?"

Count Bleck followed her gaze. "You mean Prince Mallow?"

"Isn't he just _dreamy_?"

"Whatever floats your boat," he said with a shrug.

Meanwhile, Tippi fluttered up to Mario and said shyly, "So, um, Mario… why don't you tell me about some more of your adventures?"

Mario shook his head, and asked her to tell him about what she had been doing instead.

"Oh, gosh!" she said. "I totally forgot- you haven't seen _me_ either! Duh. Well, we've been on all kinds of adventures. Not as epic as yours and mine. We went to Rogueport. You've been?"

Mario nodded.

"I knew it. But then, you've been everywhere, haven't you?"

Count Bleck chuckled.

Just then, two toad guards entered the room with O'Chunks and Nastasia.

"This completes your tour of the castle," said one of the guards. "Since Her Highness's tea party is almost over, I'll leave you to wait with your master."

"Ah, an' a finer piece o' stonework it couldn't be," said O'Chunks, giving one of the guards such a hearty slap on the back that he stumbled forwards. "I ehn't seen a castle this nice in ages, 'cept fer me Blecky-boy's own… but then that's no contest."

"Yeah," said Nastasia. "Thanks for the tour. I'll have to give my compliments to the Princess."

She stepped up to Count Bleck. "So, um, Count, what's the game plan?"

"We'll be leaving as soon as I can pry Mimi away from the doilies and pretty shoes," he replied. "Or, we'll be leaving without her. I'm not sure which yet."

"Yeah, that's good. So, um, are we going back to the mountain then to tie up loose ends?"

"No," said Count Bleck. "I think I need to take the evening off. It's time to think about what I need, rather than what I think I want." He gave her a sideways look. "But then, you weren't here for that conversation so you probably don't know what I'm talking about."

Nastasia shrugged. "I find that happens to me a lot, actually."

THE END

_You've read it, you can't un-read it! Tune in next time._


End file.
